Not My Family, Never My Child


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Both Reynolds Lewis and Dr. Kennedy-Moore advised that I step away from Instagram.

Or are you going to remember that you had wonderful times on your madcap adventures, and you were really close and connected to your children? What do I honestly think will change if I am suddenly organized? Would I be a better person, or a better parent somehow? I went to her house that day because Hannah makes me feel safe. When Dr.

Learn from Mistakes—Including Your Own

Maybe it didn't seem that full, or it was different from the one he's successfully poured from by himself at preschool. And even if he made the same mistake just yesterday, your comment is neither productive nor supportive. Give your child the benefit of the doubt, and be specific.


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Say "I like it better if you do it this way, thank you. Similar jabs include "I can't believe you did that!

11 Brutally Honest Reasons Why Millennials Don't Want Kids

They add up, and the underlying message kids hear is: "You're a pain in the neck, and you never do anything right. Threats, usually the result of parental frustration, are rarely effective.

We sputter warnings like "Do this or else! The problem is that sooner or later you have to make good on the threat or else it loses its power. Threats of hitting have been found to lead to more spanking -- which itself has been proven to be an ineffective way to change behavior. The younger a child is, the longer it takes for a lesson to sink in. Even with older kids, no discipline strategy yields surefire results right off the bat every time. So it's more effective to develop a repertoire of constructive tactics, such as redirection, removing the child from the situation, or time-outs, than it is to rely on those with proven negative consequences, including verbal threats and spanking.

To be effective, you need to take care of a situation immediately yourself. Discipline that's postponed doesn't connect the consequences with your child's actions. By the time the other parent gets home, it's likely that your child will actually have forgotten what she did wrong. Alternately, the agony of anticipating a punishment may be worse than what the original crime deserved.

Not My Family, Never My Child

Passing the buck to someone else also undermines your authority. Not least, you're putting your partner in an undeserved bad-cop role. Who in this world of back-to-back appointments, overbooked schedules, sleep deficits, and traffic snarls hasn't uttered these immortal words? Certainly every parent whose toddler can't find his shoes or blankie or who's blissfully oblivious of anything but putting on his socks "all by self! Consider, though, your tone of voice when you implore a child to hurry, and how often you say it.

Dysfunctional family

If you're starting to whine, screech, or sigh every day, with your hands on your hips and your toes tapping, beware. There's a tendency when we're rushed to make our kids feel guilty for making us rush. The guilt may make them feel bad, but it doesn't motivate them to move faster. No matter what, I wouldn't yell or roll my eyes even if someone spilled their Cheerios or asked me to find something just as we were heading out. Rather than hectoring "I told you to turn off that TV five minutes ago!

What could possibly be wrong with praise? Positive reinforcement, after all, is one of the most effective tools a parent has. The trouble comes in when the praise is vague and indiscriminate.


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  • Tossing out "Great job! Kids tune it out. They can also tell the difference between praise for doing something rote or simple and praise for a real effort. A practical handbook for anyone who suspects or knows someone they care about is a drug user. Drawing on the tragic loss of his own son to a heroin overdose and over 20 years working as a counsellor, Tony Trimingham cuts through the media hype and politicking to address the real issues facing the families and friends of someone struggling with addiction. Filled with constructive suggestions and strategies, Not My Family Never My Child is aimed at supporting parents, family members and loved ones of drug users and the users themselves through the difficult journey of drug dependency.

    It includes detailed information on: warning signs, early intervention, coping and survival strategies, treatment and where to go for additional advice and support. Not My Family Never My Child is an invaluable tool that will help families and friends cope with and get through the trauma, guilt and challenges of supporting someone struggling with drug addiction. Tony Trimingham established the Damien Trimingham Foundation after the death of his year-old son from a drug overdose.

    Not My Family, Never My Child Not My Family, Never My Child
    Not My Family, Never My Child Not My Family, Never My Child
    Not My Family, Never My Child Not My Family, Never My Child
    Not My Family, Never My Child Not My Family, Never My Child
    Not My Family, Never My Child Not My Family, Never My Child
    Not My Family, Never My Child Not My Family, Never My Child

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