The comparison results in judgment and self rejection for not meeting the image of perfection. This is because we have the belief that achieving the image of perfection will result in positive happy emotions and feeling confident with our success. Our mind has actually been programmed to have these emotional associations. We desire to feel these feelings and chase the image of perfection we have attached to them. Many times people have achieved their goals only to find themselves still unfulfilled. Your emotional state may briefly change in the euphoria if the immediate success.
The critical voice in our head is more likely to put a higher goal in front of us to achieve. I was talking with a woman who competed on the US Olympic Ski team several years back. She described feeling like a failure because she was only ranked about 10th in the world. These are the beliefs that create emotions of insecurity and fear. The emotions are not the problem they are just the resulting symptom of negative core beliefs. We are the one doing the looking.
Why You "Lose" Your Personality when You're Feeling Insecure (and How to Get it Back) | Puttylike
Having this awareness helps shift our point of view and is a beginning step that will help us change a belief. Often people try to prop up their confidence with efforts to become their image of perfection. I just launched my own site and posted my first blog entry, and am feeling the need for validation in what I am doing on that front too, but in a different way.
Thanks to you and so many other multipotentialite, non-conformists for shining a light for me! Out of all your posts, this one resonates the most with me! It was as if I suddenly lost everything that made me.. I might as well have been a fly on the wall. I wished I read this many years ago.
- Marconi My Beloved (Abridged).
- Overcoming Insecurity and Low Self Esteem?
- Herrgottswinkel: Roman (German Edition);
- Can America Survive?: 10 Prophetic Signs That We Are The Terminal Generation.
- Theres Trouble Brewing.
- Königin Caroline Mathilde von Dänemark: Die Geliebte des Leibarztes (German Edition).
I DO talk to myself before a social event I dread. It really does work. This post I will add to my bookmarks, because my insecurity issues wax and wanes throughout my life. Feeling like a fly on the wall is so painful. You really feel like you have no power. I sort of wish I had read this many years ago too. It really helped to feel like I had a choice.
- Outlaws of the Moon (Captain Future Book 7).
- The Book of Ornis (The Chronicles of Cadaver College 1);
- Proceedings of the FISITA 2012 World Automotive Congress: Volume 9: Automotive Safety Technology: 197 (Lecture Notes in Electrical Engineering).
- 1. Learning is a great thing..
- Das bedingungslose Grundeinkommen aus soziologischer Sicht (German Edition).
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Love this post and all the others on here. Very inspiring. When I read the part about just going up to someone and talking about your interests, it reminded me of some advice I received once. This will get them to open up and shine through to you, and in turn you will be much more comfortable opening up and sharing with them.
We all love to feel like others truly care about us and are interested in us, so be that person! People will remember you when you act like this, you make them feel good, and you will make friends.
Self-control: Teaching students about their greatest inner strength
They will also look up to you as an influencer and seem more confident to them, especially if they were in this situation, lacking confidence or feeling like an outsider. Plus it beats small talk, just get right into the meaty stuff :. With every article of yours that I read, I am just amazed that there is someone else and judging by the comments you get, lots of someone elses who knows exactly how I have felt in so many instances. Am I necessary here? Do they even want me to be here? So thank you, so much, for kick-starting me on becoming myself again, at last.
I just stand there, waiting for commands to act, waiting to do what he wants do do. I was a selfish person at the beggining of the relationship. I started doing everything to him, started being like him. As you get older, you will likely find that your confidence grows and that you start having healthier relationships. This is so me right now. I befriended 2 other friends on Facebook with a love for my favorite band.
We got very close, talking every day all 3 together and individually. Then, I found they had been in a relationship for 4 months without telling me. Your article in many ways is just how I feel. This past 2years I have been going through a struggle with my husband and along these 2 years I have lost my self more n more.
I have always had some insecurities Growing up but when he came to my life he showed mr how a great person I am Took away all my insecurities and made me love my self but only with him around. Only to realise a month ago that the love and security in my life crushed away cuz he cheated on me. I put on 40 pounds of weight over the past 1. Everyone in this world has something unique to offer and you just need to dig into your memory until you remember exactly what makes you amazing.
You can do it, we all can! I was picked on a lot when I was younger. I decided to lift weights run and do football to turn into a beast so no one would dare mess with me. I suck at being me around them.
Likeable yes because I have many friends and some guys at school even idolize me but loveable no. People have remarked on that many times. I felt similar when I was 18 for different reasons obviously. Hold tight, things will happen for you.
Also, hit up my friend Rami if you need girl advice. Just wanted to say that topic really hit the spot for me tonight. I was just hanging out with friends and I said something kind of inappropriate, I was feeling a little shamed for it the rest of the time so I just went home. It was bothering me so much that I ended up googleing how to get over it and this website came up. Pretty cool :.
I struggle with feeling insecure often, to be honest almost always my life has changed significantly recently. New city, new home, new people, and a new job.. I used to be a really outgoing, funny, and down-right daring, always taking the spotlight, and often very spontaneous contributing into conversations. But all these started to fade away after a 6 month break from school. Everyday I wake up I start to worry about things like what to say when around people, what to do, which is eating me up inside because I was the person who enjoyed life to the fullest and now all I do is worry.
Please help. Reach out to someone you want to be friends with, initiate a conversation. And work on telling your inner bully to take a hike when he shows up. A Home for Multipotentialites! Photo courtesy of Erix Pearl. Written by Emilie Topics: Confidence. This is a horrible feeling that I rarely experience anymore, but I used to feel all the time. Breaking Out of It To break out of this state, you need to begin embodying a confident person, and often this means doing the opposite of what you feel like doing: putting yourself in the spotlight, taking the initiative, talking about things that are personal.
Be Assertive Get out of your seat, walk through the center of the room, even if it means people are looking at you, go grab a second serving of turkey, just begin taking up space and asserting your presence. Go Have a Conversation with Yourself Go to the bathroom, look at yourself in the mirror and get back in touch with who you are. Go Home If all else fails, just leave. Get the support you need to build a life around ALL your interests:.
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Related I change The Inner Battle: Learn How To Control Your Self Confidence.
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